With all of my traveling lately, I have not been able to work with metasploit as much as I would like. In my spare time, I have been reading Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. This book is extremely helpful for any job life you may have. I have made notes on the book that includes the main principles from the chapters as well as key quotes I encountered:
(If nothing else, please read the principles listed as they offer the main ideas from the reading)
(If nothing else, please read the principles listed as they offer the main ideas from the reading)
How To Win Friends and Influence People
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Principle I: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
“I consider my
ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people the greatest asset I possess, and
the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and
encouragement. There is nothing else
that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to
work. So I am anxious to praise but
loath to find fault. If I like anything,
I am hearty in my approbation and lavish
in my praise.”
-
Charles Schwab
Principle II: Give honest and sincere appreciation
“In as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my
brethren, ye have done it unto me.”
“Action springs out
of what we fundamentally desire . . . and the best piece of advice which can be
given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school,
in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with
him. He who cannot, walks a lonely way.”
-
Harry A. Overstreet
“If there is any one
secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of
view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
-
Henry Ford
“People who can put
themselves in the place of other people who can understand the workings of
their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.”
-
Owen D. Young
If out of reading this book you get just one thing – an increased
tendency to think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see
things from their angle – if you get that one thing out of this book, it may
easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.
Principle III: Arouse in the other person an eager want
Ways to Make People Like You
You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely
interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other
people interested in you.
“It is the
individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest
difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all
human failures spring.”
-
What Life
Should Mean to You by Alfred Adler
“I am grateful because these people come to see me; they
make it possible for me to make my living in a very agreeable way. I’m going to give them the very best I can.”
-
Howard Thurston on taking the stage before a
show
“We are interested
in others when they are interested in us.”
-
Publilius Syrus
Principle I: Become genuinely interested in other people
“People you smile
tend to manage, teach, and sell more effectively, and to raise happier
children. There’s far more information
in a smile than a frown. That’s why
encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.”
-
Professor James V. McConnell
“Whenever you go
out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the
lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile,
and put soul into every handclasp. Do
not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your
enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind
what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will
move straight to the goal. Keep your
mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the
days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the
opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the
coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful
you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into
particular individual. …Thought is supreme.
Preserve a right mental attitude – the attitude of courage, frankness,
and good cheer. To think rightly is to
create. All things come through desire
and every sincere prayer is answered. We
become like that on which our hearts are fixed.
Carry your chin in and the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.”
-
Elbert Hubbard
“A man without a
smiling face must not open a shop.”
-
Ancient Chinese proverb
Principle II: Smile
Principle III: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the
sweetest and most important sound in any language
“Those people who
think only of themselves are hopelessly uneducated. They are not educated no matter how
instructed they may be.”
-
Dr. Nicholas Murray Butler
Principle IV: Be a good listener.
Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Principle V: Tal kin terms of the other person’s interests
“Do unto others as
you would have others do unto you.”
-
Jesus
“hearty in their
approbation and lavish in their praise.”
-
Charles Schwab
“I’m sorry to trouble you,” “Would you be so kind as to ---?” “Won’t
you please?” “Would you mind?” “Thank you”
“Every man I meet is
my superior in some way. In that, I
learn of him.”
-Emerson
“Talk to people
about themselves and they will listen for hours.”
-
Disraeli
Principle VI: Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
So figure it out for yourself.
Which would you rather have, an academic, theatrical victory or a
person’s good will? You can seldom have
both.
“Hatred is never
ended by hatred but by love.”
-
Buddha
“No man who is
resolved to make the most of himself, can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take the
consequences, including the vitiation of his temper and the loss of
self-control. Yield larger things to
which you show no more than equal rights; yield lesser ones though clearly your
own. Better give your path to a dog than
be bitten by him in contesting for the right.
Even killing the dog would not cure the bite.”
-
Lincoln
How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument in Bits and Pieces
-
Welcome
the disagreement: “When two partners
always agree, one of them is not necessary”
-
Distrust
your first instinctive impression
-
Control
your temper
-
Listen
first
-
Look for
areas of agreement
-
Be honest
-
Promise to
think over your opponent’s ideas and study them carefully
-
Thank your
opponents sincerely for their interest
-
Postpone
action to give both sides time to think through the problem
“My wife and I made
a pact a long time ago, and we’ve kept it no matter how angry we’ve grown with
each other. When one yells, the other
should listen – because when two people yell, there is no communication, just
noise and bad vibrations.”
-
Jan Peerce
Principle I: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
“Men must be taught
as if you taught them not and things unknown proposed as things forgot.”
-
Alexander Pope
“You cannot teach a
man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.”
-
Galileo
“Be wiser than other
people if you can; but do not tell them so.”
-
Lord Chesterfield
“One thing only I
know, and that is that I know nothing.”
-
Socrates
“I have found it of
enormous value when I can permit myself to understand the other person. The way in which I have worded this statement
may seem strange to you. Is it necessary
to permit oneself to understand another?
I think it is. Our first reaction
to most of the statements (which we hear from other people) is an evaluation or
judgment, rather than an understanding of it.
When someone expresses some feeling, attitude or belief, our tendency is
almost immediately to feel ‘that’s right,’ or ‘that’s stupid,’ ‘that’s
abnormal,’ ‘that’s unreasonable,’ ‘that’s incorrect,’ ‘that’s not nice.’ Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the meaning of
the statement is to the other person.”
-
Carl Rogers on Becoming a Person
When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves. And if we are handled gently and tactfully,
we may admit it to others and even take pride in our frankness and
broad-mindedness. But not if someone
else is trying to ram the unpalatable fact down our esophagus.
“I judge people by
their own principles – not by my own.”
-
Dr. Martin Luther King on his admiration of Air
Force General Daniel James
“Agree with thine
adversary quickly.”
-
Jesus
“Be diplomatic. It will help you gain your point.”
-
King Akhtoi of Egypt
Principle II: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say “You’re wrong.”
3: If You’re Wrong, Admit It
“All if this has
been my fault, I and I alone have lost this battle.”
-
General Robert E. Lee
“Come to think it
over, I don’t entirely agree with it myself.
Not everything I wrote yesterday appeals to me today. I am glad to learn what you think on the
subject. The next time you are in the
neighborhood you must visit us and we’ll get this subject threshed out for all
time. So here is a handclasp over the
miles, and I am,”
-
Elbert Hubbard in response to a gentleman that
disagreed with his article
By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you
expected
-
Old proverb
Principle III: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
“If you come at me
with your fists doubled, I think I can promise you that mine will double as
fast as yours; but if you come to me and say, ‘Let us sit down and take counsel
together, and, if we differ from each other, understand why it is that we
differ, just what the points at issue are,’ we will presently find that we are
not so far apart after all, that the points on which we differ are few and the
points which we agree are many, and that if we only have the patience and the
candor and the desire to get together, we will get together.”
-
Woodrow Wilson
“It is an old and
true maxim that ‘a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of all.’ So with men, if you would win a man to your
cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his
heart which, say what you will is the great high road to his reason.”
-
Lincoln
Principle IV: Begin in a friendly way
“He who treads
softly goes far.”
-
Ancient Chinese proverb
Principle V: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
“If you want
enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel
you.”
-
La Rochefoucauld
Principle VI: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
“In every work of
genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a
certain alienated majesty.”
-
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Principle VII: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
“I would rather walk
the sidewalk in front of a person’s office for two hours before an interview
than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going
to say and what that person – from my knowledge of his or her interests and
motives – was likely to answer.”
-
Dean Donham
Principle VIII: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s
points of view
“I don’t blame you one bit for feeling as you do. If I were you, I would undoubtedly feel just
as you do.”
Principle IX: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
Principle X: Appeal to the nobler motives
Principle XI: Dramatize your ideas
“The way to get
things done is to stimulate competition.
I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to
excel.”
-Charles Schwab
“All men have fears,
but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but
always to victory.”
-
Motto of King’s Guard in ancient Greece
Principle XII: Throw down a challenge
Principle I: Begin with praise and honest appreciation
Principle II: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
Principle III: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the
other person
Principle IV: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
“I have no right to
say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but
what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man
in his dignity is a crime.”
-
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Principle V: Let the other person save face
“Praise is like
sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready
to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give
our fellow the warm sunshine of praise.”
-
Jess Lair, I
Ain’t Much, Baby-But I’m All I Got
Principle VI: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every
improvement. Be “hearty in your
approbation and lavish in your praise.”
Principle VII: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
Principle VIII: Use encouragement.
Make the fault seem easy to correct
Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when
it is necessary to change attitudes or behavior:
1.
Be sincere.
Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver.
2.
Know exactly what it is you want the other
person to do.
3.
Be empathetic.
Ask yourself what is it the other person really wants.
4.
Consider the benefits that person will receive
from doing what you suggest.
5.
Match those benefits to the other person’s
wants.
6.
When you make your request, put it in a form
that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.
Principle IX: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you
suggest
